Saturday, June 27, 2015

I Can Understand Why The Fish Was Mad

"MadFish is a casual, upscale (?) St. Pete Beach retrofit diner" at 5200 Gulf Boulevard. That is about the best I can report about MadFish except for our server Andre. He was terrific! He tried his best to promote the restaurant while not alluding to the fact that the food was far less than stellar. I can't remember when the Piglet Parade has been so disappointed with any restaurant.

The four of us walked in and were promptly seated. Let me say right now that the staff was great. We had our menus, the specials were described, and our drink orders were taken - various wines for the table. We expressed our desires for appetizers.

First up were the Doughnut O-Rings; onions coated with doughnut dough and sprinkled with powdered sugar. The concept may have seemed inspired but the result was a complete disaster. The onions were greasy and coated with a dough that fell away from the limp onions at the first touch. Even the accompanying ketchup couldn't save this attempt at originality from itself.

We foolishly ordered more from the appetizer menu. Miss Dee thought the Oysters Rockefeller would be pleasing.

The oysters by themselves were not bad but were buried under gooey globs of something. Though the original recipe is a secret, the sauce is known to be a puree of a number of green vegetables other than spinach. It consists of oysters on the half-shell topped with the sauce and bread crumbs and then baked. I think back on this culinary jiggery-pokery (yes, that is a valid expression) and I am at a loss for words.

I had hoped for the Tuna Poke, but they were out of poke. I settled for the Chef's Mussels of the Day.

There were a lot of mussels but not a lot of flavor, and no bread to sop up the flavorless broth. Then we had salads - house and for a $1 up charge, a Caesar.

I had the Caesar and had to ask what the up charge was for. That was a blah salad that can easily be recreated with a bag of chopped romaine and bottled Caesar dressing from Publix. The same for the shredded Parm and bagged croutons.

The table had one entree that was deemed good, or at least adequate. I think it was Oscar the Grouper or some such. Our photographer was so bummed out I could not even click the shutter at this point.

One in our party ordered the Prime Rib. It was so over cooked, tough and dry, it was removed from the bill.

My bride had the Filet Mignon. She likes her beef a little more done, but what she was served was too done even for her. It was discounted on the bill.

I had some shrimp scampi thing on angel hair pasta. The few shrimp were good, the pasta was al dente, but somebody neglected to add anything remotely resembling flavor.

We were all presented with included desserts - the MadFish interpretation of Key Lime Pie.

I am not sure of our food total with wine ... probably $110 or so for two people. That is what we based our gratuity upon, not the discounted prices. What MadFish billed us was less, but it wasn't Andre's fault that the food ... how should I phrase this? ... SUCKED!

Even those tourists with taste buds that have been surgically removed should stay away from this fish of madness. And, do not confuse MadFish with the Mad Beach Fish House. The fish house is located at Madeira Beach and is far superior.

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