Friday, June 27, 2014

Cream Cheese, Bagel And A Cuppa Jihad Joe

While lingering over your latte and bagel this morning, did you by chance see this story in today's paper (click on the headline to read the full story):

Two men arrested in bay area smuggled firearms out of the U.S., authorities said

This reminds me of a video I posted a year or two ago that celebrates NRA successes.

My apologies for straying away from food and stuff, but this gun craze in America is like a bad bout with diarrhea that just won't quit. It needs to be brought under control.

Bon appétit, y'all.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

We Was Sat, But Not Serviced

At times, when I'm in the mood for mindless entertainment, I turn to Urbanspoon's restaurant diner reviews. It is here that I find abundant humor and utter amazement at the thoughts that come from the minds of some of these people...that and grammatical skills that would have my college English professor screaming in frustration.

The reviews that generate the most fodder for ridicule are from those one-review-wonders who have enjoyed their dining experience at a particular restaurant on numerous occasions but never bothered to write a positive review. Then with one less than stellar outing, they muddle through a barely coherent tirade slamming the restaurant: the food, the servers, the managers, the owners, and their kinfolk, both past and present.

Here are a few of my favorite Urbanspoon diner reviews:

"Poor service ... regulars get serviced very well." I had planned on visiting that venue a few times to become a regular. I was anxious to get serviced. My bride said NO!

I marvel at the tenacity of the reviewers who claim, "We were sat and two hours later still hadn't been served." And your ass was Super Glued to the chair?

I have to wonder about the reviewers who write that they never, in their whole lives, have ever been treated so rudely by staff and management even though politeness oozed from their every pore, and then they "politely" write, "Stay away! Owner is a piece of scum and a dirtbag. Trust [sic]. Met him and would never support this place."

And, "Our party of 8 was refused service by these douche bags. We arrived at 9:50 but they are open until 10." Of course these folks would have no problem staying a few extra hours after their normal quitting time. Right? And for minimum wages? And then complain about the tacked on 18% for large parties?

Then we have the following two reviews from the same person, but of two different restaurants:  "Horrible place my first time and found two hair in two plate." In a subsequent review, "A pubic hair, again a curly little hair, in my scrambled eggs!" Personally, I hate those curly little hairs in my eggs, so I wear pants when I dine out. Maybe this reviewer should consider a full body wax since they seem to be molting.

El Sombrero Restaurant down in Palmetto, Florida received the absolute best review I have ever seen posted on Urbanspoon. Back in January 28, 2013, Unhappy in Ellenton bought some "KY products" at a local Walgreens. Seriously, she wrote that in her review.

I must admit that this TMI revelation certainly piqued my interest, so I read on. It seems that in addition to her KY intimacy product, Unhappy was given a coupon to be redeemed at El Sombrero. I thought I might be closing in on a connection between a KY jelly coupon and a Mexican restaurant.

What transpired wasn't quite what I imagined. It appears that the restaurant did not honor that KY coupon, and that really rubbed, really really rubbed, Unhappy the wrong way. So much so that a slathering of KY lube could not even ease the burn. What then is a wronged KY jelly girl to do?

"...[K]now this, I have written poor reviews for this restaurant everywhere on the web (Yelp, KY, Walgreens, my own FB page and I live in a community of over 3,000 people 1 mile from the restaurant, I will post poor reviews in every hall, pool, exercise room in this community and the other 5 communities around us reaching thousands of local residents."

You go girl, that is really a slick move. The world really needed to know. El Sombrero might not be real thrilled, but the KY jelly folks are probably near orgasm with all of that free publicity.

In all fairness, I think it is only right to give the servers who put up with these idiots equal time. Meet Thadra Sheridan:

To close, I did come across a positive review that made me grateful for my college English professor's teachings. Wrote the reviewer, "I can't find enough adverbs to describe how good the food was." I might be wrong, but I think Ms. Perillo might have suggested trying a few adjectives.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Lunch At Hooters

The three Bs: Bob, beer, and my Baby. For what more could anyone wish?

The mayor of Tampa and the Belle of Ballast Point

Monday, June 2, 2014

¡Ay Chihuahua!

I am almost too embarrassed to admit that my bride and I have traveled thither and yon to satisfy our occasional craving for Mexican style food when there is a dandy eatery practically on our doorstep in South Tampa. Yesterday evening the Belle of Ballast Point and I crossed the threshold of the Chihuahua Mexican Grill and Restaurant at 4101 South MacDill Avenue for the first time, and we do not envision that to be our last time.

The effervescent Jenny who guided us to “the best seat in the house” immediately greeted us at the door. We beat the dinner crowd so we had the place to ourselves. Chips and dip appeared and Jenny took our drink order. She suggested the house Margarita, but since Chihuahua doesn't have a liquor license we decided to choose a beer...from Mexico. A Margarita without tequila just isn't a Margarita. The Bohemia beers that were served brought back pleasant memories of our trips south of the border. 

Jenny suggested that the Chili Cheese Dip from the appetizer menu would be perfect with our tortilla chips in a dog dish (Chihuahua, dog...). The melted Mexican cheese was creamy and delicious. With the dip, chips, and Bohemia beers we could almost picture ourselves back in that little cantina between Punta Bete and las ruinas de Coba.

For her entree, my bride ordered the oven baked Enchilada Dinner with three homemade corn tortillas in a delicious, bubbly enriched sauce. Judging from the moans of ecstasy coming from her side of the table, I can only assume she was more than pleased with her dinner choice. What she could not finish last night will be polished off today at work. Mexican rice and re-fried beans rounded out this dish.

I chose the Carnitas, literally "little meats," a signature dish of Mexican cuisine. It is made of pork, which has first been braised or roasted until tender, and then pan-fried or sautéed until browning occurs. I am not sure what technique is employed by Chihuahua, but that pork had some nice crispy bits, though for me the meat was just un poco on the dry side. The flavor was good and with corn tortillas, pico de gallo, sour cream, lettuce, and a side of re-fried beans this was a very filling meal.

I can't imagine anyone walking out of Chihuahua hungry after those two meals, and the prices were more than reasonable. Actually, the prices were competitive or lower than what we have experienced at other local Mexican dining spots. Our total for the evening came in at $41.72 and we added a 20% gratuity for Jenny.

¡Nos gustó mucho Chihuahua!

Chihuahua Mexican Grill on Urbanspoon

Chihuahua Mexican Grill on Foodio54