Saturday, October 12, 2013

Wicked Gravity

Gravity sucks! Of course it does, and that is why we don't all go floating off into space like Sandra Bullock and George Clooney in the movie Gravity that is showing in area theaters. My bride and I went to the Hyde Park CineBistro recently to view this movie, touted as the "cat's pajamas" (whatever the hell that means) of special effects flicks.

I can't report that gravity (the movie) sucks but if it weren't for the scenes of Bullock in those tiny, tight, black, short, shorts there would be little, other than special effects, to rave about. We viewed the movie in 2D as opposed to 3D. I personally find that 3D distracts from the story line. In the case of this movie, the story line was so thin I think the razzle-dazzle of 3D would have been the better choice. Additionally, I have to wonder about the title of this movie since there was damn little gravity except at the very end.

SPOILER ALERT: The ending of Gravity left me hanging out there in space. As Bullock's hijacked Chinese space capsule plummeted to Earth, voices were heard on the radio asking for identification of this "unidentified flying object". The capsule splashed down in a lake. Bullock almost drowned before pulling herself out and swimming to the surface.

She swan to shore and clawed her way from the water, through the mud, and emerged on dry land. We watched as she got to her feet and surveyed her surroundings, still clad in those cute little black shorts. As far as the eye could see, in all directions, was a desolate landscape with no signs of civilization. There was no rescue helicopter. There were no interceptor jets streaking through the skies.

There was nothing except for the strange notion that at any moment we would see apes on horseback cresting the hill and charging down to capture this alien being who landed on their planet - The Planet of Sandra and The Apes.

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