Thursday, November 29, 2012

It Tastes Like Bacon

Whether you are a bah-humbugger like me or a Jiggle Bell rocker, it matters not. Christmas is coming back around to dump glad tidings of comfort and joy all over the land. Our citizens are once again packing the shopping malls on their annual quest to find the perfect gift for that special someone in their lives.

Some folks already know what they are going to buy and give, and then there are the rest of us who have no clue until the very last minute. I am here today to offer a suggestion. I opened an email this morning from Justin and Dave, Bacontrepreneurs. They are the guys who make that super heavenly concoction, Baconnaise.

I used to buy Baconnaise at the local Publix until that store quit selling it, so now I order directly on-line from J&D's Everything Should Taste Like Bacon. Well, Justin and Dave have taken that mantra to an entirely new level and are now offering a new product geared toward the "bacon lover."

From the web site:

You've always been a lover of bacon. Well, now you can be a bacon lover with baconlube, the world's first bacon-flavored massage oil and personal lubricant. No more horrifying bedroom experiments with bacon grease or 3rd degree skillet massage burns. 

FACT - People are passionate about bacon. According to a recent survey of Canadians by Maple Leaf Foods, Canadas market leader in the bacon category, when asked to choose between bacon and sex, more than four in 10 (43%) chose bacon. Thanks to baconlube, [you] will never have to choose between two of life's greatest pleasures again.

J&Ds baconlube is water-based, proudly Made in America and is the gold standard of meat-flavored massage oils. We only made a very small quantity of this pork flavored nectar and it's available while supplies last.

What started as an April Fool's joke is now a REAL product thanks to the thousands of people that emailed, harassed and sent us highly explicit explanations of what they would do with this (thanks for that).

Just Keep It Sizzlin' with baconlube. They'll be bacon for more.

P.S. It's vegan-safe, making this the perfect gift for the vegetarian in your life.

Editor's note: The Oracle has no financial interest in the web site or the products listed. This article is presented as a public service to my readers.

And, you are welcome.


  1. This article--replete as it is with sublime social relevance--just begs for a pithy response. . . but mere words fail me. My bad. Sorry to let you down, Jon. :-))

  2. Happy after-Thanksgiving to you Bill. Never fear - you have never let me down. It is always a joy to hear from you.